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Dance of the Puppets

Like a bat on a hot tin roof since August 2005

Sunday, June 18, 2006

The science of Superskirt physics

It's been known for some time that normal physical laws react unpredictably and are sometimes suspended altogether in the vicinity of scantily clad women, and I think it is time there was some serious study done into this "superskirt" physics.

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that women wearing costumes with bare midrifs are less likely to get hurt than if they are entirely encased in adamantium armour. The flimsiest underwear can withstand damage that would tear a full body costume to tastefully arranged shreds, and Supergirl's skirt could easily resist the gravity pull of a black hole to cling to her thighs.

Think of the benefits to mankind that could be achieved if we could harness the power that enables cute girls in chainmail bikinis to survive unaffected by blizzards while heavily wrapped people are losing toes to frostbite!

Clearly other, more advanced alien races have mastered this science, so we have some catching up to do.

On a related note, I feel there should also be room for more 16 year old girls in the space program.

7 Comments:

Blogger river selkie said...

hey! i LOVE that wonder woman davinci-esque image! two of my favorites wrapped into one.

thanks for visiting, and i'll be back. :)

11:26 am  
Anonymous Starman Matt Morrison said...

In fairness, up until Frank Cho announced his series - Savage Queen of the Frozen North- Red Sonja has always been portrayed in desert environments and is in fact native to a warm/temperate nation... or so my Sonja fan girlfriend tells me.

7:04 am  
Blogger Marionette said...

I was using the term "chainmail bikini" as a generic reference to any implausably minimal costume worn by a woman in fantasy stories. The SF equivilent is "space bikini".

12:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A Friend Of A friend used to be in a gaming group that went along to conventions with themed costumes. One year they all wore T-shirts with a cartoon of a Red-Sonja-type barbarian lass standing atop a pile of vanquished foes, with axes and swords embedded in every millimetre of her saucepan-lid bra and chainmail g-string, and the caption: "Fortunately, I Was Wearing My Armor". They adopted the acronym (FIWWMA, pronounced /FEW-ma/) as the name of their team.

12:22 pm  
Blogger Marionette said...

I would love to see that picture.

12:33 am  
Anonymous Starman said...

Fair point on the generic term.

I just thought I'd mention it because say what you will about the fantasy genre, but it is gender neutral when it comes to impractical armor. Yes, Sonaj's costume is, depending on the artist, exploitive. But is Conan is any better protected in his fur loincloth? At least Sonja has a goddess blessing her. Conan's patron god is known primarily for turning against people who ask him for help.

As for the image, there's a similar joke in the fantasy parody manga Van Von Hunter involving a necromancer in a brass bra and not much else and how the world's greatest archer manages to hit the ONE part of her that is armored... proving his skill but simultaneously getting himself and his brother killed by zombies. :P

2:36 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like to think its the same menatility that Batman used when putting a bright yellow symbol on his chest (which was the most armored portion of his suit). Since many a bad guy is male . . . the portions protected by these chainmail bikinis are naturally where their looking and thus aiming at so of course thats all they need to protect. After all, it costs alot to armor everything.

3:06 pm  

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