Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Fake out at Byrne Robotics

I was just reading some stuff on John Byrne's message board and I reached a post where he explains why he doesn't allow nicknames - he calls them "fake names" - on his board, and gives his opinion of people who "hide behind them".

I can see his reasoning, but it is simplistic to the level of uselessness to take the attitude that all pseudonyms are bad*, or that message board trollers can be defeated if you deny them the use of nicknames (unless you have some way of verifying the "real" names as being true, which they don't). That will only stop the ones who are stupid enough to buy into the "solution".

Now I have been writing about comics under the name of Marionette for several years, and even this blog is getting close to its first anniversary. I post and comment on a lot of message boards and blogs with this name, and wherever possible link back here. I recently broke one thousand hits in a single day, so I like to think that I have a certain reputation in this little online world of ours. But if I want to express an opinion on John Byrne's board I cannot post with this name by which I am well known because it is an "obvious nickname"**. So I have to post under a name which nobody recognises and which will not be traced back to me. It's not my real name either, but it doesn't look like a nickname, so I pass the registration. Thus I am prevented from using the identity by which everyone knows me and must use a fake name*** to pass the measures in place to prevent people using fake names.

See, that's irony.

*Pen names have been a tradition for writers since the invention of the pen. Magazines are full of "house names". Film stars never seem to keep the names they were born with, and I believe I'm right in thinking that even Stan Lee could technically be refused entry to this board.

**Bear in mind that the only criteria apparently in use is "does it look like a real name or not?" So if your actual name is something unusual like Moon Unit or Rainbow you will be judged fake and your only option, if you still care enough to continue, will be to register as Jimmy Smith or something.

***Actually I've registered several different names from different email addresses at Byrne Robotics. Not because I particularly want to comment there, I just see it as a symbolic act of giving them the finger.


Snard said...

I always figured your real name was Mari O'Nette.

Marionette said...

Oh no! However did you see through my cunning diguise?

Sleestak said...

Awesome! I enjoy baiting the B.E.A.T.-ers myself.

(Byrne's Eager Attack Trolls)

S Bates said...

What even funnier (it that a word?) is that Byrne is a superhero comic book creator. And most superheroes use "nicknames" or "false names".

Peter Parker goes by the nickname of Spiderman. Bruce Wayne calls himself (the) Batman when he's fighting crime. Etc, etc.

Perhaps we should all log onto his website as variations of John Byrne. Things like Jon Birne, Jonathan Burn, Joan Berne, etc. :)

Ragnell said...

Ivan Scorch
Johann Sizzle
Joan Scar

Anonymous said...

Perhaps there should be a name many people use. If half the people on the site were John Smith...peevish might occur.

Anonymous said...

"***Actually I've registered several different names from different email addresses at Byrne Robotics. Not because I particularly want to comment there, I just see it as a symbolic act of giving them the finger."

Nobody gives a shit, dear.

Anonymous said...

"Nobody gives a shit, dear."

Zhang? Is that you?

Anonymous said...

I use my real name on the John Byrne Forum and a fake name everywhere else. Byrne isn't smart enough to know if anyone is really using their real names to post there, one of his mods even uses a fake name, but we have to indulge the baby genius or he may throw a tantrum and leave the internet for good. Real names is just one of the hundreds of rules we have to follow so we can interact with his highness. My favorite is we can't discuss superhero movies on his board, unless they are junk like Superman or the Rocketeer, dribble that his over sized head can handle watching. Can't have him crying to his mommy that they got the color wrong on the Thing's diaper. Better to just ban any discussion of movies while he pontificates why it's evil to call Spider-Man, "Spidey"!

Anonymous said...

No, I'm Zhang. And I'd like to point out that Mari can add a "I'm Marionette the blogger" in her signature at Byrnerobotics, so that the entire world knows it's her.

Anonymous said...

"Zhang" are you a mod at the JBF? If not, you can't say what is ok and what isn't.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you Marc Foxx, you fatasss. You really need to lose weight or take your pictures down, you twit!

Anonymous said...

You people are a bunch of low-life assholes. You do know that, don't you? What you are doing here is contemptibly sad. You trolls make me sick. Sometimes I wish I could just die so I never again have to see sick bullies like you rape everything I know and love.

Anonymous said...

So who here is posting under a real name? Definitely not "marionette", "Rod Odom", or "Greg Kirkman".

Can't wait to see "Joe Zhang", "Mike O'Brien", or some other alias post here!

Hi! I'm Anonymous! I can say whatever stupid thing I want, because no one knows my name! Wheeeeee!

Tsk, tsk. Get a life, Roddy-rod...if that is your real name. Which it isn't.

Anonymous said...

My Christ, Kirkman (if that's really you), shut the fuck up and run back home to Mama Johnny.

Thanks for linking here, BTW. You turned me on to a new blog!


Anonymous said...

Yet more basement-dwelling losers with too much time on their hands attacking good people. How does it feel, tough guys? How does it feel to be an Internet bully? If I wasn't hopped up on Xanax right now I'd take you all down a peg.

This is why I'm done with comics. No more of this shit for me.

I'm leaving the Internet forever.

Anonymous said...

Who. Gives. A Shit.

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous,

The Greg Kirkman you are responding to is a fake. The REAL Greg Kirkman posted just below him as "Anonymous" and then ran for the safety of the John Byrne forum, where he can cower in the shadow of of Byrne's godlike wit and fatherlike protection. The REAL Greg Kirkman, who posted here without using his real name, does not understand how ironic it is that he howls and spits about people tossing out insults from the safety of Internet anonymity, and yet came here to do exactly that. The reason he does not understand this is because he is not a stable or rational individual. He has deep, deep emotional problems.

Anonymous said...

I thought I was Mark Foxx. Or Joe Zhang. Or Rod Odom. Or Stan Lomisceau. Or maybe I'm Mike O'Brien. Or Anonymous. Or maybe Greg Kirkman. Or even Mama Johnny Byrne. Hard to tell these days. Maybe all of them. Maybe none of them.

Who cares, since I (we?) can sit in my grandma's basement and say whatever I want. Type-click, type-click. Blah, blah, blah.

Important people are watching this blog, you know. The best of the basement-dwellers. Like you and me. So be on your best behavior.

Anonymous said...

So does Joe Zhang give a shit or not? There are like, five guys Zhang is pretended to be over here. Joe S. Walker, Greg Kirkman, Mike O'Brien, Rod Odom, and Anonymous. Do all of them give a shit? Or none of them?

Anonymous said...

Typical trolls showing how "kewl" you are by giving a finger to John Byrne and pretending you're me. I'm sure you all scored a lot of points with your loser buddies today.

Don't worry, jerkoffs, it's not like I haven't been the victim of mouth-breathing bullies like you before. I put my heart and soul into my essay on Spider-Man (there is a hyphen in the word, folks. Deal with it.) and get mocked for my passion.

Unsurprisingly, various trolls have tried to post...less than encouraging...comments...about my blog, some even posing as former Spider-Man writer Roger Stern, as well as Gail Simone. This kind of behavior is totally impermissible. Don't even bother to try it. Please note that all comments are moderated by myself before being posted at my blog.

So, if you don't have anything nice to say, rest assured, your comment will be rejected (with pleasure). Of course, intelligent and constructive criticism is always welcome, but vile spam and insults are not.

Anonymous said...

So was that the real Greg Kirkman, the fake Greg Kirkman, Anomyous, Rod Odom, or Joe Zhang?

And if you're you and he's you, and he's you and you're you, am I still me?

Anonymous said...

I cannot adequately express how DISGUSTED I am by those of you who did things I specifically asking you not to.

Maybe you'd like to tell me now why I shouldn't kick your miserable asses off the Forum?

This guy should have been taken out of the croc pen, had his kids taken from him, and been thrown in the deepest, darkest, dankest pit the Australian judicial system has to offer. Preferably after being skinned alive.

"Asshole" is too good a word.

Anonymous said...

Well, Joe Zhang/Greg Kirkman/Mike O'Brien/Anonymous/Rod Odom's got that Bryne impression perfected. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

Mike O'Brien is the quiet, sensitive type. Greg Kirkman is a nice mama's boy with some impulse control problems. Joe Zhang is a harmless nut who like to see Spider-Man cry. Rod Odom just wants to kiss Jon Bryne on the lips once. Just once.

They're not a bad group once you get to know them.

Anonymous said...

I like the Rocketeer movie.

Anonymous said...

It's funny that some nerds somewhere are so lonely that they hang on our every word. They get on our case for interacting with John Byrne, while they lose sight of the fact that it's a healthy interaction - while their obsessing, sexually at some times, vaguely threatening at others, on people from an internet message board is so far off that scale...well...

But in the end, it's flattering - that people hang on our every word, our every action - we have our own little nerd papparazzi! And considering that the kind of lonely comic nerd who has time to keep up with the comings and going of average people on an internet message board is also the type of geek who couldn't pick a vagina out of a police line-up, well... I can't decide if I should laugh at or pitty these poor racist bastards!

Anonymous said...

Betcha Mike O'Brien, Greg Kirkman, Rod Odom and Joe Zhang don't.

They hate any kind of newfangled rocket. anything that's not 40 years old.

Well, maybe not Rod. He likes pocket rockets.

Anonymous said...

Predictable, sad but predictable. If I wasn't fourty pounds overweight and afraid that the people posting here might actually be adult males and not girls, I would kick the intestines right out of the lot of you. Nothing makes me want to puke quicker than reading crap like this. I fantasize about the day when I can quit my job as a library clerk and hunt down the twisted psyches who dare make fun of our kind, lonely overweight males losing their hair who spend all their time debating over the correct way to color Spider-Man's costume and drooling over 16 year old girls without implants. I would love to beat all your cerebellums in and eat your hearts and livers and dance in your urine stains.

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable! Will we ever be left alone to bask in the greatness that is Byrne? I tossed out all my comics except for Byrne because I realized that all comic fans suck mule dick and I was ashamed to be a part of that group. Now let me tell you about my dream where I was Byrne's butler and he asked me to lick his "ink pen"...but I've said to much.

Anonymous said...

Great, another internet stalker. Another FAKE and FRAUD.

I hope pretending you're me makes you feel like a man, tough guy.

Do you feel like a man now that you're mocking good people? Does it make you feel like a MAN to tear down people from your basement? You sick losers make me want to vomit. Good people, people picked on and kicked around their whole life can't even escape to a MESSAGE BOARD without you cowardly stalkers chasin them down. You won't even give them a moment a peace! Fuck you. Fuck all of you.

You know... what the hell... we're all alone - there's no such things as friends, family is a sham and a joke. Why do we even fricking bother? Inertia, mostly. We struggle through each day, pain, suffering... screw this crap. Why the hell do we bother?? My job is crap, my life is crap... I've wasted my whole god-damned life... look - any youngsters who happen upon this? Screw college. It's a waste of time and money. I'm going to die in debt so I could get a useless piece of paper. What is there? Food? Cake? Whatever?? I mean, I can't even eat myself happy at this point. MacBeth was right - it's all sound and fury, and it signifies a big fat wet fart. It's all for nothing. Where will I be in 100 years? I won't even be a bad memory. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm lonely. I have no friends. I have no family. When you look back on it? How many good times were there? A few? At best? And that's supposed to make it all worthwhile?? What is life, a god-damned Steven Speilberg movie?? I hate it all, it's all crap, it's all worthless..

sigh. Just leave us alone, you fucking sniveling cowards.

Those are good people. John Byrne is a good person. LEAVE THEM ALONE. Don't let the bastards grind you down, John. You're one of the good ones, JB. You're a light in the darkness.

Anonymous said...


Did I use that word right, JB? I want to please you so badly, I ache inside. Can't wait to see you again my love.

Anonymous said...

I think it's time for me to once again sink my teeth into the asses of the people that think they can get away with mocking the John Byrne Forum!

I am always watching and waiting. Please, piss me off, I dare you!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if using a fake name would help me with a problem I have been having.

My mommy and daddy force me to go with them to the movies to see those dreadful superhero adaptations. I cried all the way thru Spider-Man 3 and wouldn't come out from under my bed for 3 days.

Maybe if I change my name, they'll stop torturing me and move on to my younger brother. He's 35 and lives in the attic.

Marionette said...

Joe S. Walker said...

"***Actually I've registered several different names from different email addresses at Byrne Robotics. Not because I particularly want to comment there, I just see it as a symbolic act of giving them the finger."

Nobody gives a shit, dear.

Really? Because when I don't give a shit about something I don't waste my time responding to it, like those who have added 28 new comments to my year old post here, or contributed to the thread running over at Byrne now.

You must be very bored.

Anonymous said...

"or contributed to the thread running over at Byrne now."

That thread wasn't in direct response to this blog entry. Not everyone contributing there or here is of a hive mind.

However, I've noticed the same people always cry out that they're being impersonated. Funny how it keeps happening to the same folks over and over. Not that anyone might think they purposefully make inflammatory comments on multiple forums and then cry foul about it as a form of seeking attention. No. No one would suggest this.

Anonymous said...

You can pretty much count on Greg Kirkman to attempt to enflame on both sides of the fence. No one over in the John Byrne forum is really talking about this, yet he continually attempts to redirect attention. He wants this to be a big deal. It isn't.

Anonymous said...

As much as Greg Kirkman denies it, O'Brien, Zhang and others from the moral compass that is known as the John Byrne Forum, have all gone on other messageboards pretending to be other people, just to stir up trouble.

No surprise, they troll on the Byrne Forum, might as well troll on other boards.

You lose again Kirkman, go back to your pathetic liitle blog and cry about Spiderman not being spelled right because the hyphen isn't there.

Anonymous said...

[quote]Marc Foxx
Byrne Robotics Member

Joined: 16 April 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 1728
Posted: 19 July 2007 at 11:06pm | IP Logged post reply
I don't know if I should be insulted because I wasn't impersonated over there or just because I was called fat - way to state the obvious, champ! To paraphrase Winston Churchill, "I may be fat, but you're an asshole and I can always lose weight!"[/quote]

You're right, Marc. You'll always be fat and I'll always be an asshole.

Don't swing at the easy ones.

Anonymous said...

I'm actually (shock! gasp! incorrect use of the word "actually"!) glad a link to this blog got posted at the Byrne Forum. It's been an interesting read. The "Rape of the Month" entry was just about the most horrible comics-related thing I've ever read.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous, I may have misattributed some comments to you, but then what the hell do you expect if you can't even be bothered to distinguish yourself from any other anonymous poster?"

I would imagine you could check the IP addresses of posters. If you can't, writing tone and context can do wonders. Furthermore, I have used quotes to establish a thread of dialog. And finally, you could have just asked. In truth, I would have simply created an ID at the beginning, but I never suspected that such a simple and accurate point (you opened the door to this with your own insults) would have lead to such twisted denial as suggesting that "the finger" does not translate to "fuck you".

"And I don't care how offensively you wish to interpret my words, repeatedly insisting that I said something I did not say achieves no useful purpose."

The entire US translates "the finger" to "fuck you". What serves no useful purpose is your continued denial.

"You claim to agree with my original comment and yet you chose to set the Byrne Attack Trolls on me because you didn't like the way I phrased it. Big poopy do."

How exactly did I set the "Byrne Attack Trolls". Big Poopy Do indeed. In our exchange, the one on the thread where you took your ball with you and ran home, there is a clear linear progression of dialog. In that thread, I agree with you on several aspects, and disagree with you on several more, but NOWHERE did I claim to be the person who linked to your site. In fact, I made it crystal clear that I am not a regular participant of the Byrne forum. For the record, I think linking to a year old thread over something so minor is ridiculous. But watching you try to twist away from any form of culpability is equally ridiculous. It's a pity you don't hold yourself up to the same standards that you hold others. You claim you've seen Byrne say some dumb things and then entirely derail debates by refusing to admit he could have chosen his words better.

Glass house.

"It's a sunny day and I'm go walk in the sunshine now."

Allow me to give you the one fingered salute on your way out the door. Just a mild sign of displeasure, after all.

Anonymous said...

Hi everybody - Al Cock here!

I am sick and tired of John Byrne being laughed by the world at large. He is a great man. A misundertsood genius. A lonely man. An angry man. A man who longs for the touch of a woman. A man who loves his giant robots.

A man who needs love and affection. A man like me.

Anonymous said...

Dog Forbid someone get things right! John Byrne is not an asshole that runs his board like a tyrant. He doesn't delete posts, lock threads, complain when others do even the slightest thing wrong or cry like a baby when someone calls Batman, "Bats".

Anybody need a mix tape? I'm known for putting together the tightest mixes in the hizzy!

Anonymous said...

YEEHAW its Matt Hawes from the Happy show!

I wish you all would stop making fun of John Byrne - his bright red beard shines like a beacon of light for people like me who are constantly mocked and spat on by society.

Ok back to bed - Mr. Happy and a crate of twinkies are waiting for me!

Anonymous said...

Hanson’s robots flirt with the uncanny and test our notions of what it means to be human. They have rubbery flesh made of what he calls frubber, with tiny wires on the inside that pull the “skin” to mimic human facial expressions.

Clinical Depression